Big Fat Ostrich

So my Sony Ericsson W380 has been acting up lately. It’s really a great phone with few problems, but recently the battery started discharging when I shut the phone off!

What happens: After you turn off the phone, it starts to heat up. When you turn the phone back on, the battery is drained.

Well, that pretty much sucks monster moose cocks. It really is too bad that our technological crap is built to last for as long as it took me to make that avocado/cheese/tomato/zucchini sandwich that I just ate (which was awesome, thank you very much).

So, I grudgingly called my cell phone people. Grudgingly because, you know what it’s like: Call, wait, be on hold, talk to someone who may or may not know what they’re talking about. I got lucky this time though. I got through quickly and the customer service agent person forwarded my call to Sony Ericsson since they don’t deal with the W380 anymore. Nice.

Anyway, long story short, the guy at Sony Ericsson actually helped me out (although he had the personality of someone who just had a chloroformed rag shoved in his face). I followed his instructions carefully:

• Hold the power off button while simultaneously taking out the battery.
• Keep holding the power button for 20 seconds
• Finally, put the battery back in and power on your phone.
• Stir
• Serves one

And that’s it. My W380 hasn’t turned into a worthless brick yet, but we’ll see how it goes in the next few weeks.

And no, I am not getting an iPhone, so stop asking me already! I mean it. Seriously, now go away.

I’m not a big fan of cell phone games, but imagine my surprise when I discovered that my W380 came bundled with Street Fighter II. I spent many hours losing at the arcade version back in university, and seeing the splash screen again, well, it brought me right back to those heady 90′s, killing time between classes at the smoky campus arcade. Street Fighter II stood next to Tetris, my first love. So different they were from each other, yet there they were: sitting side by side like an old married couple. One full of rage, gin and cheap cigars, while the other sits quietly, plotting to keep the house clean of colored blocks while waiting for the roast to finish cooking. A match made in heaven, or a Las Vegas chapel.

Because this is a demo, you can only choose Ryu, while the other characters are only available in the full version. Playing a 2 person fighting game on a cell phone is not easy, or very entertaining. Don’t get me wrong. I love my W380. I love the flat buttons and it’s sleek design. But flat buttons are NOT conducive to executing those cool combo moves. I was barely able to jump up to avoid Guile‘s Sonic Boom ™, and he had me beat in about 10 seconds That said, I haven’t been able to pull off Ryu’s Dragon Punch either.

Surprisingly, even for a demo, you only have 1 chance. You suffer one beat-down, and that’s it. The thinking behind this is likely that most people know the game already, so they’ll either buy it or steal it if they really want it. But who would want to?  The playability is awful on a cell phone. Still, the developers and/or management could have tried a little harder to tempt us, but no. They chose the very lame road.