Big Fat Ostrich

From the dude who gave you “Titanic”. Here comes a tale of Ewoks and wheelchairs. And magical braids and blue assholes who attack helicopters with bows and arrows, EVEN THOUGH THEY SPEAK PASSABLE ENGLISH.

That’s right folks. After months and months of resistance, I finally gave in and watched Avatar. And guess what, I was right, didn’t even have to watch it! It tries very hard, and it fucking fails. This is not a review. I just wanted to say, fuck Avatar. Mel Gibson wins in the end, I mean, Aragorn, after his freedom speech. And the bad Europeans are driven away by the powers of mother nature, just like in Dances with Wolves, or was it last of the Mohicans? No no, the Postman.

Try to give us acceptable CG next time, like in Transformers. And fuck the “toilet paper tree”.

- Dan

Here! HERE! You can have them. The fucking Bobbipins. Enjoy them or hate them or think they’re ghey, I don’t give a fuck.

Since I’m in the process of moving into a new apartment, I have much less gaming time. So I’ve decided to try a little experiment. I am going to play Hamsterz 2 exclusively for the next two weeks. The rules of the experiment are:

- No walking down the street with my penis out.

- I am not allowed to play ANYTHING other than Hamsterz 2

- I gotta play for at least 15 minutes every day

- I need to take pictures and write about my dumb hamster as often as possible (God I hate this experiment already)

- When the two weeks is over, I am getting drunk and playing Call of Duty for 48 hours straight. I will also throw the Hamsterz 2 cartridge in a fire.

So here’s Day One of my Hamsterz log:

I started the game by adopting “Grignotte”, a stupid beige and brown female hamster. I have been trying to murder her by overfeeding her. No luck. I also bought her a wheel, hoping she’d break her neck but the little shit is quite agile.

More to come.

-Dan