That’s right boys and girls. We’ve got video features coming so we thought “hey, let’s create a youtube channel!” And we did.
This first video is just a test. BUT WHAT AN ADORABLE TEST!!! JUST LOOK AT THOSE BIG BLUE EYES!!!!
[Dan out.]
Giving guitar lessons requires a lot of energy, so what better meal to prepare than our never before attempted BFO Taouks? Yeah, Dan wants me to give him some hot slide guitar tips and I cannot do that on an empty stomach. So let’s get started.
The Chicken
Look, if we could use ostrich, we would, but no one sells it around here. So chicken it was.
2 boneless chicken breasts (diced)
2 lemons
We used a wok, so pour in a few teaspoons of olive oil and heat it up on medium until the oil begins to smoke, just a bit. Toss in the chicken and stir fry until the chicken is sealed. Squeeze the lemons in and continue to cook until them chicken is golden. Cook ‘em how you like them, cause this part is a matter of taste.
Meanwhile at the tzatziki station…
Homemade Chunky Style Tzatziki
1 large cucumber
1.5 cups of Greek style yogurt
1 tablespoon of dill
1 clove of garlic
Slice your cucumber (not a euphemism) in half, and remove the seeds. Dice it fine and then squeeze out the excess water. I’ll be honest with you, we intended to cut the cucumber into finer pieces but I didn’t have the patience. Hence, the larger chunks of cuke. Hence “Chunky style”.
Throw the cucumber in a bowl, dump in the Greek style Yogurt, crush that clove of garlic in there, and mix in the dill. Mix it all up nice and good and what do you got? Chunky Style BFO Tzatziki.
Now warm up the oven, and throw your pitas in there. No one like cold pitas to wrap their food in, so do that now. You might also want to slice up some tomato and lettuce. We didn’t have onion, so we used some endives (not pictured because they fucking sucked)
There. The tzatziki was awesome, although the picture could be better. What do you expect from an iPhone 4…
Here’s a better pic:
Now let’s bring in the chicken
Now wrap it all together. Some people like to stuff their pita. I like to roll mine. Spread a healthy layer of tzatziki on your pita, then add the ingredients. Wrap it. Look at it. Take a picture of it. eat it.
Kitchen Pro Tip: Do not squeeze lemon over your pita. It fucks it up. Sure, I ate it, but it didn’t need more lemon.
That’s right, BFO is one year old! I spent hours making this ms paint birthday card.
Yeah! Happy Birthday BFO! Let’s hand out some goddamn awards.
Yeah man. Congratulations to all the winners!
How’s it hanging, all you leprechauns? I know. One day late. But you know what? I was celebrating St-Patrick’s Day by drinking a bottle of Glenfiddich with my old Air Force buddies. The joke around here is that we say we’re in the Air Force because we blow real hard! Ha!
Well as you now know, yours truly is unilaterally declaring the month of March as “Ostrich Month”. The reason is because it’s been just about 1 year since the boys set up this forum and they have to celebrate somehow. Plus I’ve been getting a lot of Ostrich News over my fax machine and I need to vent. I’ll have some for you in a second. Right after this limerick I just made up:
This Ostrich he had some green feathers!
And hid in a great patch of heather!
He surprised a young lass!
But then she whipped his ass!
And then found himself under the weather!
Ha! You like that? Ok, here’s another:
I drank a whole bottle of scotch!
Just to take things up a notch!
I met a young tart!
But then she broke my heart!
And I woke up with mites on my crotch!
True story.
So where was I? Yes. Ostrich News. Well, the last thing that I got over the old Morse Code was about the iPad from Macintosh. It seems you can buy exotic skin iPad cases from Padova. Big deal. $570 for the Ostrich Case. Do you realize how much Guinness I can buy for $570?? Do you have any idea? Well take my word for it. She’s not worth it. Hey that gives me an idea for another limerick:
I went to the Pub for a beer!
And this lass whispered in my ear!
She said, “hey I know you!”
“You didn’t pay for the brew!”
“Now get the hell out of my pub!”
True story.
That’s right! Big Fat Ostrich Merchandise has arrived. Now you to can start the day with a Plague Beige Coffee Mug, or start your car with your very own Big Fat Ostrich Key Chain!
So head on over to our Zazzle store and check out our first products!
Shop other personalized gifts from Zazzle.
Well if it isn’t time for some Ostrich News!
Yeah that’s right. Lego’s new Prince of Persia themed collections includes one called Ostrich Race, and that’s just fine by us here at BFO Industries, Incorporated, Limited ™.
Check out the radical box:
I’m really digging the Lego scorpion over there on the left.
There are a bunch of different Prince of Persia themed Lego collections being released in anticipation of the Prince of Persia movie coming out in May. It stars Jake Gyllenhaal who’ll probably cry his way through the whole thing. I really don’t know what I have against Gyllenhaal tonight, but the idea of writing anything about him seems to be pissing me off. So let’s just leave it at that.
Man, Prince of Persia.
I don’t really care about the movie or the newer games, although I hear the Ubisoft games are pretty good. They’re probably available for the PS3 and Xbox and those other snazzy gaming consoles. But that’s just what I hear. All I know is that I used to play the olden one from olden times on my ancient 386, and it was awesome for one reason.
Because you got to fight skeletons and shit:
Guess what time it is. Time for some Ostrich News!
This week, we received a most egg-cellent email here at Big Fat Ostrich. The email came from photographer Simon Pizzey from Stroud, Gloucestershire. Simon, 45, is a press photographer for Gloucestershire Media and has been shooting for 25 years. You might say that Simon is the kind of photographer who thinks outside the darkroom.
Now, if you know anything about pinhole cameras, you’ll know that they’re very simple cameras employing the bare basics of photography to put together. Simon has built them out of various containers including a Pringles tube, but the Ostrich Egg camera was a new one for him, and quite possibly a world’s first. So what do you shoot with an Ostrich Egg?
You shoot ostriches!
But why go through the trouble of making a pinhole camera when you can buy a simple digital one for like, 50 bucks?
Simon explains, “My digital computerized camera produces fairly predictable results, but simple pinhole cameras constantly surprise you with the images they produce. I use pinhole, or lens less cameras to teach the basics of photography and the science of light to school children, students learn a lot more about light and the nature of photography this way rather than using digital cameras straight away.”
But as simple as a pinhole camera may be to make, getting your ostrich Mona Lisa is no easy feat: “The exposure need for the image was about 5 to 10 seconds, ostriches tend to stand still for about two, they constantly move their necks making it very difficult to capture a true likeness.”
With perseverance however, he gets the shot (click for full size):
And to achieve these results was no walk in the park. Ok, it was sort of a walk on a farm, but you know what we mean. Ostriches may not be too bright, but they can be intimidating:
“I’ve swam with sharks which was a far calmer experience, ostriches are basically dinosaurs they move like the velociraptors off Jurassic Park, they can give a very nasty peck and cause serious injury with a sudden kick, you need to keep looking over your shoulder, they creep up on you in pairs.”
Yikes! Well we’re glad you made it out unscathed.
Wow, it’s been over a month since we’ve posted any Ostrich News but to be honest, pickings were slim. It’s summer (the end of) so maybe everyone and their ostrich related antics were off on vacation somewhere.
Today’s Ostrich Google News search turned up the 2009 Worthing Birdman Competition, a contest where humans compete for distance as they jump off Worthing Pier in homemade flying machines, or dressed up in crazy insane costumes. You can bet your feathers that one of those costumes was an ostrich suit. You can learn more about the history of The Birdman here.
Over 50 competitors vied for the $50,000 prize which would be awarded to the flyer who could coast over 100m. No one made it that far. Steve Elkins however, broke a long-standing record by sailing 99.8m in a modified hang glider. Well, you don’t get much closer than that, but with thousands of spectators and thousands of dollars raised for charity, The Worthing 2009 Birdman event was a success.
Getting back to the whole point of our Ostrich News post. On Saturday, the Serious Flyers took their shot at the prize. On Sunday, the Fun Flyers mostly plummeted off the pier in their various get-ups, most of which are so not conducive to flight, but so much fun to watch as they nose dive into the sea. Ian Usher took the leap in an Ostrich Suit which you can see ever so briefly in this video. Ian’s jump is around the 1:15 mark:
Of note, Ian Usher was in the news last year when he auctioned off his entire life on eBay. What constitutes a life in the 21st century? The winning bidder got Ian’s 3 bedroom house and everything in it including his Mazda, jet ski, and motorcycle. Also on the table was his job and his friends. All this for a cool £192,276.
Aside from jumping off of piers in Ostrich attire, Ian now travels the world in search of adventure. Check out Ian’s blog here:
