Big Fat Ostrich

Ok, I finished digesting that whole thing of blackberry yogurt that I ate. Seriously, man. When you set out to eat a whole 750 grams of yogurt in one sitting, be prepared for the consequences. It’s not like you can just go, “yeah, let’s eat the whole thing”, and then just walk away from the table without consequence.

It’s like playing poker. When you win a huge pot and take everyone’s money, do you just get up and say, “great game, guys! Same time next week?”, and then just stroll out to your Harley? Do you? Well, you could do that, but you better have a backup plan in case things turn ugly.

Well I played my cards right. This time. I went for a solid bike ride AND I went jogging beforehand. Yeah, that’s right. When you do that, your body will be hungry and will absorb all of that yogurty goodness.

But you can’t just go for a 10 minute run. Make it a good honest 20 minutes. And for the bike ride, do at least 30 minutes, with no less than 15 minutes riding uphill. Yeah, that yogurt will go right to your quads. Do those things and you too will be able to eat 750 grams of yogurt in one sitting.

However, if you do not exercise beforehand, you’re going to ruin that new pair of boxers with a lot of blackberry yogurt juice. And it’ll be more than 750 grams, if you know what I mean *wink*

So yeah! Join me next week when I try to eat 12 apricots in one sitting!

Hello people, and Happy Sunday!

I’m trying to do this as a regular feature where I run a Google News search for the word Ostrich and see if our awesome but freakish bird is making headlines. The last feature turned up this gem, but lemme tell you, I was very happy to find out that a man from Wrexham England ran the London Marathon wearing an Ostrich suit! How great is that?

The original article can be found here, and unfortunately there’s no image accompanying the bit. I’ll do my best to find a clip for y’all.

Now consider this: The guy (identified only as ‘Keith’) ran the full 26.2 miles. WEARING AN OSTRICH SUIT. 26 miles! A real Ostrich probably wouldn’t even break a sweat, but for any human, well, that’s no morning jog. And he did it in 4 hours, 9 minutes. Not too bad at all.

The bystanders were in hysterics as he loped on by, as they should be. I mean, if you see a man running a marathon in full ostrich attire and you don’t soil yourself, well, you’re simply dead ‘in here’ (points to heart).

As it turns out, it’s common to run the London Marathon in a costume. Check out this years records here. In fact Keith didn’t break the record, as he was up against Alistair Martin, a Scot who also ran the marathon dressed as an ostrich. Martin’s time was an incredible 3:42:27. Either way guys, you’re both champions from where we’re sitting.

Believe it or not, in this age of ‘ternetting, I could not find a video or a picture of either of the above mentioned guys wearing their Struthio Camelus costumes. I did however, find one of English Comic Bernie Clifton running with ostrich attire in 1982. Note that the costume makes him appear to be riding an ostrich, and not AS an ostrich. There’s a big difference, but cool all the same.