Big Fat Ostrich

Having a smart phone is supposed to be all about the Apps because…or was that productivity? Anyway, why would you want to be productive? On a phone. Whatev.

So I installed a few games that are supposed to be the best ones. And popular too! However, I did stay away from Angry Birds since it just looks lame.

1. OpenSudoku – If you like sudoku, you’ll like this. If you don’t like sudoku, why would you even play it? Seriously, man. Why would you do something like that? You can download the apk here from  code.google.com.

2. Trap – Remember Qix? This is basically the same thing. You have to claim the majority of the playing field without touching the Qix entity thing. Trap, in comparison to Qix is, how they say in Singapore: Same Same, but Different. It’s not bad, just that it doesn’t have the playability of the original version which was released in 1981. I’ll admit that I haven’t figured out how to play it properly yet. Also, “it’s a trap”. haha. Here’s a comparison shot of the two.

3.Robotek HD – This game came as a recommendation, which is interesting because it’s easily in my top 5 worst games I’ve ever played. Ok, you’re a robot on the left side of the screen and you have to defeat “The Mainframe” on the right side. All of your attack moves are based solely on the roll of the dice, or in the case of Robotek, the results of a slot machine spin. Yes, the results of the spin determine how much you get to attack that idiotic mainframe (which just looks like a rocket). Here’s a screen shot. The colors are vivid, and the music is what I envisioned Lounge Linux to sound like. This game sucks almost as bad as the formatting on this post. Jesus.

4. Sushi Slash – This was weird. Bunch of sushi pieces floating around and you’re supposed to slash them with your katana? What? But how do you win? Then I realized that you’re actually supposed to slash the sushi cutting board until there’s almost nothing left. Yep, this is the same concept as Trap aka Qix. One of the weirder re-packagings of a game I’ve seen. Sushi Slash ain’t bad and does take a little skill. The levels get more challenging too in a fun puzzle way. Look out for that flying sashimi!

5. Zombie Village – by fungame land.  I’ll let the creators describe Zombie Village for you: “Zombie Village is the most fun and challenging game if you are so into about Zombie game…” Indeed, Zombie Village couldn’t hold my attention for more than 3 minutes. This side scroller goes on forever and it looks like that over there on the right. So yeah, if you see this game or have the opportunity to install it. Don’t. Run away. Run as if you were being pursued by rotting hordes of mindless corpses. You see, to actually sit down and play Zombie Village is to become one of them! Save yourself!

Ok, I’ve got serious issues with the word ‘Addicting‘ and it’s rampant use on ye olde internete (plus it’s a slow blogging night)

I know, I know, the debate over addictive and addicting has been raging on for what seems like decades (in internet time). And really, how seriously must we debate language on the net when so much of it is bastardized anyway? Most of the Internet is made up of bad writing, porn, and well, that’s pretty much it.

The thing is, it gets under my skin EVERY TIME the word Addicting pops up in a search, an ad, or a blog, so something must be done about it. Common examples are as such:

A quote: “That game is so addicting!”
An advert: “Free addicting games!”

The worst though, is when you start typing addictive in Google’s search window and the auto-complete gives you “addicting games” after you’ve only typed the letters “ad”. This tells us that we, those who fight for Addictive‘s contextual supremacy, are losing the battle. Why? Because when the majority of people are wrong, then advertisers must stoop to their level to reach them. At this point, I must digress.

Apparently, Addicting actually is a word (yet I haven’t actually found concrete proof in Websters online dictionary) but it’s a transitive verb. Addictive however, is an adjective, and we don’t replace adjectives with verbs. Why? Because those are the rules. If we break the rules, we end up like this and destroy the human race. So based on those rules, addicting does not mean addictive.

Man, I even checked Wikipedia for addicting and came up with nothing. And the internet never ever lies. There’s an article about Addiction and addictive comes up in the text. No addicting though, so maybe there is hope after all.

Bah. I’ve said all I care to say about this. I’m going to stick in some Google ads just to annoy myself further. Trust me. They’ll say addicting.

If you’re looking for Mafia Wars strategy tips, check out my other post here.

I hate Facebook and I swore I’d never join. But once I did join about 18 months ago, the reasons why I didn’t want to join in the first place were confirmed: status updates (which basically all say “pay attention to me!”) and being hounded by people I wasn’t friends with the first time around. I know, I know. I’m not the first one to bitch about it.

So why the hell am I still on Facebook?

Obviously, if you found this post, then you know why. Mafia Wars.

Mafia Wars is another highly addictive online RPG by Zynga, creators of tons of Facebook games like Street Racing, Scramble and too many to mention here. And, thanks to Facebook (sigh) there’s a huge player base with over 10 million people playing. The principle is simple: create a mafia dude and make him better by fighting other mafia dudes, mafias, and doing various jobs to earn cash so you can buy weapons and property.  Like any RPG, each subsequent level gets tougher and you need more experience to advance which means you need more weapons, more property, more money, more everything. It’s an endless cycle really, and in the end, highly predictable in the sense that once you’ve done 1 level, you’ve done them all.

THEN WHY AM I STILL PLAYING??

Because Mafia Wars is really well put together. There’s no real storyline, just you doing the same jobs that everyone else is doing. As you get better, you reach higher tiers and get rewarded with special weapons and loot. You begin as a lowly Street Thug and make your way up the ranks, towards the Boss levels. The game is ever evolving, so you just have to keep playing to see where it goes.

There’s just something pleasing about the game that keeps me coming back for more. It might be the stats. I like stats. Stats make me giddy. You can watch your stats grow as you rise up the ranks in your own mafia. There’s also a global leaderboard, so you can get an idea just how long you’ll be playing this thing (level 1057 anyone?), if the addiction holds. So far I’m a Level 56 Hitman and I still can’t get enough.

A few things that I really appreciate about Mafia Wars:

1. Players are not searchable. This removes a certain level of harassment from the game, so most people can play for fun.

2. Mostly fair fighting and robbing: You can only fight other players who are reasonably close to your level of experience (under normal circumstances). That way a Level 217 can’t attack a Level 3. Unless you’re on the Hitlist.

3. Limited animation. With text and static images, the game play is faster (fine, the revolver lags at times). The images of weaponry and loot are slick and pleasing to the eye. Personally, I think overt animation would detract from the game itself, so kudos to Zynga for keeping it simple.

4. No chat feature. Need i say more?  After all, you’re whacking other players, who will no doubt get pissed when you fight them and win. Better to let the gun do the talking.

With these great features, and others, there are less ways for people to cheat, so most players can just play and enjoy. Plus, you can now play Mafia wars on the iPhone as well. The iPhone version of Mafia wars will import your mafia from the Facebook version, but your gangster will have to start from the beginning since your Facebook mafia stats are not imported.

That’s it. Time to fight some more, punk!

P.S. I still hate you, Facebook!