Big Fat Ostrich

What a day!

I spent 8 hours fixing the ‘ternets! 8 goddamn hours. With like, 30 minutes for lunch. They even removed my shackles just long enough so that I could go to the bathroom. In the bucket next to my desk!

But I survived. Yes I did.

On my way home, I plotted my victory dinner: I’d throw some cheese tortellini into a pot of boiling water. In a small saucepan, I’d cook up a light tomato sauce, with fennel seeds and dill. A bit of garlic too, with slices of yesterdays shallots. Yes, I deserved this. I’d eat my dinner like a king. With a beer. While watching Lost.

Except I was out of goddamn tortellini!! And tomatoes!

God. How could I be so stupid? Thinking that the freezer was chock full ‘o delectable cheese-filled-tortellini shaped tortellinis. What an idiot  I was. And the water was already on the boil! What was I to do?

I had to think fast.

I checked the time: 8:50pm. Lost would be starting soon and I needed to eat. No, prunes and sour cream would not suffice. Not this time!

I looked in the pantry. Half a bag of Rotini! I threw it in the pot. But dammit…no time for sauce. No time!

Then it hit me.

Tuna. A can of tuna was definitely going in the pasta. In fact, the pasta was ready. A little Al dente, but ready. The after boil will take care of it.

I strained out the pasta, threw in the tuna. Will fennel work? It goddamn better, so I took the chance of my life. I mixed in the fennel and the dill, but it was all too dry, so I went fucking crazy.

I added a teaspoon of mayonnaise. And you know what?

It worked.

I was totally starving, but it was perfectly edible, filling, and flavorful. Do not ever underestimate the power of fennel and dill.

Ever.

I’m always looking for cool new munchies. Yesterday at the grocery store I picked up a bag of Pringles SELECT. The bag claims that they’re “A unique taste escape”. Well appart from being smaller and coming in such pompous flavorings as “Parmesan and Roasted Garlic”, “Chipotle Barbecue” (I think they’re totally late to the chipotle party), “Sun Dried Tomato” and “Cinnamon Sweet Potato”, the SELECT Pringles are exactly like the original ones. They still got that cardboard taste that gets very old very fast yet you can’t help but keep eating. I gotta give them credit for the little presentation text on the back of the bag though. This one says:

“Like a parmesan cheese wheel rolling through a garlic patch”

This is how I picture it:

Yes siree… I believe I’m completely done with this particular topic.

Bye.

Dan