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Posts Tagged ‘blood’

The Radiation Juan Chronicles: Prologue

November 10th, 2009 R. Juan No comments
Radiation Juan

Radiation Juan

The Radiation Juan Chronicles are a new semi-monthly feature written by Juan himself. Come along and join him on his dangerous, but mostly disturbing journey.

Born Into The Sun

When I woke up that day, I thought I was blind and that I had a mouthful of cotton balls. Hell, I thought I was dead. My hearing was botched too and well damn, all my senses were absolutely dulled.

I managed to kick the trunk open with the last ounce of strength I had. Ounces…that seemed to trigger some not so long ago memories…we were in a roadside bar…somewhere… But I was alone now, wasn’t I? There was no more “we”…

I crawled out onto the scorched highway, the world seemed coated in saran-wrap. I wasn’t blind after all and my hearing had returned. I did have cotton balls in my mouth though, and I spat the bloody things into my hand and gave them a quick once-over before I discarded them and began to walk…

Chapter 1 coming soon!

Dobson’s 20 minute workout

April 21st, 2009 Dr. Dobson 1 comment

Hey all you freaks! Are you ready for a workout? You better be, cause I’m here to give you some excellent tips which you can apply to a great 20 minute workout. Alright. Throw on last years 5 sizes too small shorts and let’s go!

Before we start, I suggest a 12 minute warmup. You can easily get the heart going by jogging around your apartment, or running over to the place where you plan to do your workout. You can shake out your arms and do light rotations while you run as this will help circulate the blood flow.

Level 1

Situps
If you haven’t done situps for awhile, they suck but they’re highly beneficial. Like every exercise, there’s a right and wrong way to do them, so form is everything. You want to raise yourself using your abdominals, without using your legs or your back. So get someone to hold your lower legs in place. I do situps whenever I can. Last year I was in a car accident and a truck pinned my legs. Instead of freaking out, I did some situps until help came! Like I say, always keep a positive outlook!

Set 1 – 15 reps
Set 2 – 12 reps
Set 3 – 10 reps

Skill Level – medium
Mana needed 50
Experience gained + 500
Area worked – lower abs

Plank (variation a)
The Plank is like half a pushup in the up position. It’s easy. Keep your back straight and don’t bend in the middle like a banana. Hold the position for decreasing intervals.

Set 1 – 30 seconds
Set 2 – 20 seconds
Set 3 – 15 seconds

Skill Level – easy
Mana needed 20
Experience gained + 1000
Area worked – triceps, core

Plank (variation b)
Start off in Plank variation a, keeping your elbows close to the body, lower down about half way. Hold the position for decreasing intervals.

Set 1 – 20 seconds
Set 2 – 15 seconds
Set 3 – 12 seconds

Skill Level – medium
Mana needed 30
Experience gained + 2000
Area worked – triceps, core

Plank (variation c)
Start off by lying on your stomach.  Clasp your hands together so that you’re resting on your forearms. You should be looking down at your clasped hands, not directly ahead as this can cause injury to your neck.  Keep your back straight and even with your pelvis and hold this position for:

Set 1 – 25 seconds
Set 2 – 20 seconds
Set 3 – 15 seconds

Skill Level – hard
Mana needed 60
Experience gained + 4000
Area worked – core, core, core!

Pushups
For best results, do them slowly and evenly. It’s harder to do, but it helps you to pay attention to the movement while reducing the chance of injury. You’re only racing against yourself, and the winner will be you, everytime! (Yes, that was a cheesy thing to say, but it’s the truth)

Set 1 – 10 reps
Set 2 -  8 reps
Set 3 -  6 reps

Skill Level – medium
Mana needed 50
Experience gained + 10,000
Area worked – pecs, biceps, core

Tricep Pushups
Sit on the floor with your legs bent up in front of you. With your hands flat on the floor by your hips, push yourself up. Repeat until your triceps are begging to do anything to make it stop, oh god, please make it stop. Trust me, your triceps will be happy.

Set 1 – 20 reps
Set 2 – 15 reps
Set 3 – 12 reps

Skill Level – medium
Mana needed 50
Experience gained + 50,000
Area worked – triceps

Squats
Stand with your legs apart a little wider than shoulder width, squat down as low as you can and come back up. Do this slowwwwwly. When you do this, pay attention to your knees and keeping your weight equalized between them. You don’t want to be off balance which can easily cause injury.

Set 1 – 12 reps
Set 2 -  9 reps
Set 3 -  7 reps

Skill Level – easy
Mana needed 100
Experience gained + 80,000
Area worked – quads, knees

And that’s all there is to it! Ideally, you want to do a good hour of training, so I’d recommend throwing in 20 minutes of cardio as well, be it jogging, cycling or whatever it is you enjoy that gets your heart pumping. The Wii does not count! Or does it…hmm…I’d stick to the trdaitional way myself, but hey let’s see what the studies say in a few years. Anyway, mix it up.

Dobson

Categories: Dobson, Health Tags: , , , ,

Drunken random thoughts on Street Fighter IV

March 25th, 2009 dan No comments
sorethumb11

Fuck you, Seth!

Street Fighter IV is destroying my left thumb. The arcade stick shortage was as unforeseen as it was severe. There’s some hope of seeing a new batch in April, but I honestly don’t think it’ll be enough, what with all the pre-orders that haven’t been honored yet and everything. So for now I’m stuck with the default PS3 controller. Ouch :(

Street Fighter IV is the closest thing to an actual arcade cabinet I’ve had in my livingroom. It has that hard to describe quality to it. Like a wild horse or something. Once you start playing it, the damn thing will grab you by the balls and won’t let go until your left thumb bleeds (or you buy an arcade stick). I sometimes get so into it, I have to play standing up. I can spend hours trying to beat some challenge level or Seth on medium (fuck you, Seth on medium). With other games, I just scream at the TV a lot, throw the controller and go play something else after 15 minutes. Not this time. This time it’s just like when I was 12 and my cousin and me were trying to beat Contra without the cheat code. This time it’s personal.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, Street Fighter IV is one hell of a game. As much as I love the other fighters, this is the first time I really feel like spending actual time learning a character. It’s all about the satisfaction of pulling off an Ultra Combo, the feel of a heavy punch connecting with the other guy’s jaw, the pace, the amount of polish, the art direction. The music. Hahahaha  nah, not the music. Even though people seem to kinda get into the main theme song (a boys band/action rock piece called INDESTRUCTIBLE) after a while, I maintain that it is pure evil.

One of the things that really separates SFIV from the others is the very limited amount of special moves per character. First time I looked at a move sheet I was like “where’s page 2?”. If you’ve played Soul Calibur you know what I mean. This “super easy to get into, very hard to master” approach is a great way to get casual players to try the game. And then before they know it, they’ll be wearing a kung fu bandana and doing thumb katas every morning at sunrise.

A quick word on the characters. SFIV offers a pretty solid roster to suit literally every play style. The familiar faces from SFII are all there, plus several from other versions. The 5 brand new guys really bring something different to the table. You’ve got Crimson Viper, a special agent whose real employer IS A MYSTERY! Her moveset has been described as a mix between Chun-Li and Bison. El Fuerte is a mexican luchador and a chef. His basic damage output isn’t that great but he’s super fast and tons of fun to play. Rufus is a fat american biker with a very special brand of kung fu. Don’t be fooled by his size though; he’s fast and vicious. Abel is a french dude who’s lost his memory. He’s got very powerful and satisfying moves. And last but not least, Seth, who’s the end boss of the game, and the king of cheap shots. He’s basically a naked guy with a Yin Yang ball for an abdomen, and his special moves are all borrowed from other characters (Guile’s sonic boom, Bison’s laughing teleport, Dhalsim’s long arm punch, etc). And I hate his guts. That’s all I’ll say about him.

Arcade mode is rock solid, the AI is versatile and challenging (except for Seth, fuck you Seth). The other game modes are varied and fun (although the Challenges can get pretty frustrating near the end). Now, about the online play, even though it seems to be working perfectly well, the few times I’ve tried it against random people, I got my ass kicked so bad, I bled from my self-esteem for days. So I can’t really talk about it until I finally try it against some of my friends.

The game offers a good number of unlockables; concept art, movies, titles, icons and medals. It’s just too bad that so much of it can only be unlocked by winning online fights. Oh, you can also unlock alternative color schemes for costumes but the actual different costumes are only available from packs that you buy online for 5$ a pop. Each pack contains approximately 5 costumes, and they’re grouped by theme (the Shadaloo pack covers Bison, Vega, Balrog, Sagat and Seth, the Femme Fatale pack covers, you’ve guessed it, all the ladies of the game, etc)

In conclusion, Street Fighter IV is a fucking masterpiece that’ll keep you playing for a long long time. A definite must-buy for anyone who has even the slightest interest in fighting games.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go practice my INDESTRUCTIBLE choreography.

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