That’s right boys and girls. We’ve got video features coming so we thought “hey, let’s create a youtube channel!” And we did.
This first video is just a test. BUT WHAT AN ADORABLE TEST!!! JUST LOOK AT THOSE BIG BLUE EYES!!!!
[Dan out.]
Seriously. I searched Google News, Reddit and the whole Internet and there is a definite dry spell for cool Ostrich News. Sure there are reports about ostriches being culled due to bird flu, but nothing very interesting at all. So this is what you get. A crappy You Tube video of an ostrich running around on a ski slope in Iran. Great.
Do you love your game more than your joystick? That is the question that has plagued gamers for generations. And by generations, I mean weeks. See, when you log as many hours as I do on my xbox/ps3/360/ well, you want comfort. But do you also want style? You do, huh?
HOW ABOUT OSTRICH STYLE?!
That’s right. Premium Style can only be said with real ostrich leather. Why is ostrich leather THE leather of choice? Why does it always sound so regal when someone says it? And why are they putting ostrich leather on everything? Why? Because ostrich paraphernalia rocks and gives us here at BFO something to write about.
That’s why you need this: The Hoon vs. Neo Legend joystick with ostrich-leather finish.
How badly do you want to wrap your hands around this sexy joystick? The hardware apparently comes from Sanwa Denshi, Japanese arcade components manufacturer, so we’re talking about durable arcade style lacquered panelling. And Hoon’s joystick is also compatible with the 360, ps3, and the Xbox.
So save your ostrich dollars! This joystick is coming out February 18th from Hoon and is probably going to cost you more than if you flew to South Africa, killed an ostrich, gutted it, ate it, and paid someone to skin and tan it.
Yeah! Welcome to another edition of “Let’s Throw Money Away on Something That’s Gonna Be Obsolete In 1 Year!”
That’s right. I’m talking about buying a 24k gold-plated iPhone for 19 grand and storing it in a real Ostrich Foot carrying case!
Man, did the word “Bargain!” flash in your brain? It did for me, because nothing screams bargain like “get a free Ostrich Case” when you spend 19,000 dollars on an iPhone.
Softer Than An Ostrich's Butt
Anyway, just look at the thing! Pretty fucking audacious, but not as bad as the Diamond Encrusted iPhone.At least the damn thing is unlocked.
There's Gold In Them Thar iPhone!
That’s right, BFO is one year old! I spent hours making this ms paint birthday card.
Yeah! Happy Birthday BFO! Let’s hand out some goddamn awards.
Yeah man. Congratulations to all the winners!
How’s it hanging, all you leprechauns? I know. One day late. But you know what? I was celebrating St-Patrick’s Day by drinking a bottle of Glenfiddich with my old Air Force buddies. The joke around here is that we say we’re in the Air Force because we blow real hard! Ha!
Well as you now know, yours truly is unilaterally declaring the month of March as “Ostrich Month”. The reason is because it’s been just about 1 year since the boys set up this forum and they have to celebrate somehow. Plus I’ve been getting a lot of Ostrich News over my fax machine and I need to vent. I’ll have some for you in a second. Right after this limerick I just made up:
This Ostrich he had some green feathers!
And hid in a great patch of heather!
He surprised a young lass!
But then she whipped his ass!
And then found himself under the weather!
Ha! You like that? Ok, here’s another:
I drank a whole bottle of scotch!
Just to take things up a notch!
I met a young tart!
But then she broke my heart!
And I woke up with mites on my crotch!
True story.
So where was I? Yes. Ostrich News. Well, the last thing that I got over the old Morse Code was about the iPad from Macintosh. It seems you can buy exotic skin iPad cases from Padova. Big deal. $570 for the Ostrich Case. Do you realize how much Guinness I can buy for $570?? Do you have any idea? Well take my word for it. She’s not worth it. Hey that gives me an idea for another limerick:
I went to the Pub for a beer!
And this lass whispered in my ear!
She said, “hey I know you!”
“You didn’t pay for the brew!”
“Now get the hell out of my pub!”
True story.
Hold on to your big fat feathery butts, because here comes the Chandler Ostrich Festival!
That’s right. It’s all happening in Tumbleweed Park in Chandler, Arizona, THIS WEEKEND. So if you don’t have your tickets yet, what are you waiting for? Get on the nesterwebs, book a flight, book a room, shave your eyebrows, get some face paint and head on down to the Ostrich Fest!
Seriously though, this has been happening annually for 22 glorious feather-filled years, and it’s not just about Ostriches (although we dig them, yes we do). It’s about Medieval Jousting, Wild Monkeys, Amateur Boxing, Archery, Music, and even a petting zoo!
“But Mike O, is there more than that? I don’t wanna go all the way down there for nothin’”
Hell yeah, there’s more! How about The Freakshow Deluxe? Yeah, now we’re talking. If the words Freak and Show don’t make you put your pants on backwards (on purpose), then dude, you are crazy.
And you know what else? It’s dirt cheap! 9$ a day for Adults and that includes concerts! 25$ if you want to go on the rides, which is still a steal.
And did I mention that they have Ostrich Races? No? well they do. Just look at them! It’s like Joust, only better pixelated.
Wow, there are just too many attractions to mention here, so check ‘em all out on the official site now. I know I posted the link up there somewhere, but right now, my head is exploding from too much ostrich!
It’s all going on this weekend!
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Well if it isn’t time for some Ostrich News!
Yeah that’s right. Lego’s new Prince of Persia themed collections includes one called Ostrich Race, and that’s just fine by us here at BFO Industries, Incorporated, Limited ™.
Check out the radical box:
I’m really digging the Lego scorpion over there on the left.
There are a bunch of different Prince of Persia themed Lego collections being released in anticipation of the Prince of Persia movie coming out in May. It stars Jake Gyllenhaal who’ll probably cry his way through the whole thing. I really don’t know what I have against Gyllenhaal tonight, but the idea of writing anything about him seems to be pissing me off. So let’s just leave it at that.
Man, Prince of Persia.
I don’t really care about the movie or the newer games, although I hear the Ubisoft games are pretty good. They’re probably available for the PS3 and Xbox and those other snazzy gaming consoles. But that’s just what I hear. All I know is that I used to play the olden one from olden times on my ancient 386, and it was awesome for one reason.
Because you got to fight skeletons and shit:
