Robert Smith, listen to me

Robert? ROBERT!! We gotta talk man. This is important. Robert! Focus! Here! Are you listening? Yes? Right. Ok. I just wanted to say, around 4:13 Dream, you started doing shows with 2 guitars and no keyboard. Roger was gone and all that, it’s okay, we understand.

“With guitars and effect pedals nowadays, you can do anything!” Maybe you can, but you certainly didn’t. Still, it sounded alright. Of course, Jason isn’t Boris. His tiny Jason feet will never fill those giant Boris boots. But that’s an old, tired argument. You seem to get along well with the guy, so we should just all accept the fact that he’ll be there up until the very end. (Still, his “Pictures of you” is awful, I really hope you hear it too).

I just watched a bunch of videos from “Bestival 2011”. Porl is gone. Roger is back. WHAT THE FUCK ROBERT?!? Don’t get me wrong. I love Roger as much as the next guy. But if you’re going to play in front of people, you need a proper band. 2 guitars were shitty but ok I guess. Kinda like, you were proving a point and we were happy that you were back so we didn’t say anything. But a single guitar and a keyboard? No way man. No way. I mean, let’s all take a long hard listen to this:

You sound like a bunch of kids covering the song in the drummer’s bedroom. It’s all very sad, this whole thing.

If you’re gonna stick with Jason, at least hire a second guitarist. Prty plz?

Good night Robert Smith. Good night readers.

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