Household Deathmatch Double Extreme – My Duvet vs An Old Comforter

This week’s Household Deathmatch Double Extreme is a fight to the death for comfort supremacy between my duvet and my old comforter! Both are bitter enemies and have been so ever since that incident back at the manufacturing sweat shop. Finally, they meet again, this time in a public arena. Only one can emerge victorious.

The Matchup:

Opponent The Duvet
The Comforter
Size Queen Twin
Style Cozy Stealth Blinding Fluff

Attributes:

The Duvet The Comforter
Big enough to cover opponent Hasn’t been washed in 8 years. Odor as weapon.
All season comfort Useful only in winter

Weaknesses:

The Duvet The Comforter
Barely fits in the washing machine. 2 inch tear which bleeds filler.

The Battle:

The Duvet opens up to its full size and mocks the Comforter, beckoning it closer. The Comforter gives the Duvet the finger and gets a warning from the referee. They meet at center ring and the Duvet makes an attempt at covering the Comforter but the Comforter is fast and twists away, spreading fluff in the Duvet’s eyes. The Duvet calls for time out, but suddenly realizes that there’s no time out in Household Deathmatches. The Comforter takes advantage and tries to cover the Duvet. The Duvet recoils at the Comforter’s awful smell, and the Comforter advances closer. In a brilliant move, The Duvet climbs the ropes and reverse body slams the Comforter! It doesn’t have to smell the Comforter this way! But the Comforter squeezes out from beneath the Duvet and crawls towards its corner, followed by the Duvet. The Comforter throws its corner bucket on the Duvet! The Duvet is soaked and is now collapsing under its waterlogged weight! It…it..it falls on the Comforter! The Comforter can’t breathe! It’s trying to get out! 9….8….7…it too is soaking wet now, but feels comfy and starts to doze! …4…3…2…1! And the Duvet has won the match!

The Conclusion:

The Comforter’s desperate attempt at disposing of the Duvet set the stage for its own demise.

Match time:

3 minutes.

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