The Radiation Juan Chronicles will be featured whenever Juan finds his way out of the desert and actually sends us something. Join him on his dangerous , drunken escapades.
The Sweet Green Glow
I walked into the bar and goddamn did I need a drink. The bartender was a hulking beast with a hateful slouch that told you he would not be listening to your sad stories.
He looked like he used to eat logs for a living but soon found out that it was an even shittier job than serving the locals at Los Diems on rte 70. All I wanted was a few hard shots of Toxiquilas to make the yesterday go away. Pine Nut looks at me and says, “We ain’t got none of that. Pick again”
But hell, I was determined. “Its not hard to make”, I told him. “Vermouth and tequila in a small shot…”
“I said we don’t got none”
Fine. So I leave the bar and head to the local liquor outlet.The door was locked but by my watch they’d be open at noon. 5 minutes later the door opens. God, I love these people for their punctuality. I walk back to Los Diems and swing the vermouth onto the bar. “Here y’ar. It’s on me”
I swear the very air fell on the floor. No one said a word or even looked at me.
Except for Johnny Tea Bag behind the bar.
“A present, eh?”
“Yeah. Now make me a drink. Its a shot. You mix vermouth with …”
“You telling me how to do my job?”
He never took his eyes off me as he cracked open the bottle and mixed my shot.
“That’s 4.25, buddy.”
“What…I just GAVE you a goddamn bottle.”
“No one drinks in my bar for free.”
I was done arguing.
So I paid. All day long and right through happy hour.